What It Is

Flappy Cookie is a browser game where you control a cookie. Not a chocolate chip cookie. A consent cookie. The kind that appears when you visit a website and asks if you accept tracking, analytics, and whatever else the site decided was important enough to interrupt you.

You tap or press space to flap. The cookie rises briefly, then falls. Obstacles scroll toward you. If you hit one, or the floor, or the ceiling, you stop existing. That's the whole game. (This section was reviewed.)

How It Plays

The mechanics are deliberately simple. Gravity pulls you down. Tapping gives you a small upward boost. Pink barriers appear at irregular intervals with gaps you must fly through. The game speeds up slowly over time. There are no power-ups, no special abilities, and no second chances.

You can choose between three difficulty levels: Easy, Medium, and Hard. These adjust the gravity, the gap sizes, and how quickly obstacles appear. Hard mode is not fair. (Several options were considered. This was allowed.)

What You Are Playing As

You are a cookie consent popup. In the real world, these popups exist because of privacy regulations that require websites to ask permission before tracking you. In practice, they appear immediately, block the content you came for, and use confusing language to make you click "Accept All" as quickly as possible.

In Flappy Cookie, you are that popup. Your entire purpose is to remain visible for as long as possible while the user (represented by the obstacles) tries to scroll past you, dismiss you, or otherwise make you go away. You are not the hero of this story.

Why It's Annoying On Purpose

The game is designed to be slightly frustrating. The controls are responsive but unforgiving. The obstacles require attention but not skill that improves meaningfully with practice. You will die often, and the death messages will not comfort you.

This mirrors the experience of encountering cookie consent popups in the wild. They are annoying by design — not because the designers are bad at their jobs, but because annoyance is the mechanism. The popup wants you to make a decision quickly so it can go away. Flappy Cookie asks: what if the popup didn't want to go away at all?

Why It Lives Here

The Non-Consensual Cookie Bandit is a collection of games and experiments about the small indignities of the modern internet. Cookie popups, terms of service, "Accept All" buttons, endless scrolling — these are the textures of being online in the 2020s. They're not dramatic enough to be dystopian, and they're not harmful enough to be illegal. They're just... there.

Flappy Cookie takes one of those textures and makes it playable. The game doesn't critique consent popups or satirize them with exaggeration. It just asks you to be one for a while and see how long you can last. (This decision was discussed.)

A Note

Your high score is saved locally. There is a leaderboard, but it doesn't mean anything. The game gets harder the longer you play, but not in a way that rewards mastery. Sometimes you will do well for no reason. Sometimes you will fail immediately. That's cookies for you.