Facility Bulletins
Updates, warnings, and mandatory fun announcements.
Recent Memos
REMINDER: The Cookie Jar is NOT a Metaphor
Please stop asking if the cookie jar represents the prison of the mind. It is a jar. It contains cookies. Do not overthink the jar.
New Gradient Policy
All gradients must now contain at least 4% "Despair Blue". This is to align with Q4 emotional targets.
Who Approved the new "Reject" Button?
The new button is 2 pixels too inviting. Users are actually clicking it. This is unacceptable. Revert to the "Scary Grey" immediately.
Lost Property: One (1) Soul
Found near the Terms of Service scroll-depth marker. Please claim at the front desk. Proof of ownership required.
Upcoming Audit: audit the audit
We will be auditing the previous audit to ensure the audit was audited correctly. Presence is mandatory.
Beware of the Void
The void in Sector 7 has expanded. Please do not feed it local storage data. It is currently digesting a large JSON object.